


The Lost Soul

by Girl_Supersonicboy



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abortion, Caring, Child Death, Depression, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gift, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Pain, Past Abortion, Regret, Sad, Sorrow, repeat, skelepreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 00:12:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girl_Supersonicboy/pseuds/Girl_Supersonicboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every life is precious. </p><p>But when you are stuck in an endless cycle of resets, the thought of a new life can be a scary thing.</p><p>Sans has done everything in his power to just forget about the one thing in his life he regrets but what will happen when Toriel finds out about it?</p><p>Is there a way to bring back something that is lost?<br/>If there is, Sans is willing to try it.</p><p>(Mature mostly for 2nd chptr)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 'The Best Things In Life Are Unexpected-Because There were No Expectations.'  
> ~ Eli Khamarov

It was a beautiful day outside. There was snow on the ground, kids playing in it, and Sans could honestly say that he was enjoying himself as he joined in with Frisk and their friends.

It was the month of December, and only a week till Christmas. This Christmas would be something special to Sans and all the other monsters. Why, you may ask? This would be the monsters’ very first Christmas that would not be celebrated underground.

It has been almost a year since the monsters came from the undergrounds and to say that it was a simple transition would be a lie. At first the humans of the world were terrified and thought this was an act of war, but after Frisk reassured them that it was not the case things calmed down. The kid had become the monsters’, unsaid, ambassador and through them things between humans and monsters were slowly making headway.

Humans still feared and some even hated the monsters, but overall, at least to Sans, things were looking bright; literally, since being above ground meant there was the sun. Sans still can remember the way Papyrus stared at the sun when they first came out and he knew that he was staring at it with the same longing look.

After that, Sans and the rest of his close nit friends moved into in a small town together. It wasn’t far from Mt. Ebbot and from what Frisk had told them it was where the kid came from. Aside from the information about living in the town, Frisk never said a word about their past life but the monsters never really asked. They were all happy to live with Frisk and they knew the kid loved living with them.

Dodging a snowball that he knew was aimed for him, Sans turned his head around to see Papyrus holding a small monster, one without arms, and both were snickering. The kid must have used his tail to fling the snowball and this was proven when Sans saw snow cling to it.

“So it’s everyone against Sans is it? I didn’t snow you had it in ya.” Sans said as he gathered up some snow in his hand.

“Sorry brother, but snow-one is better than the great Papyrus at snowball fights.” Papyrus said as he and the little monster ducked behind a snow fort he had made. The taller skeleton was still not one for his brother’s puns, but seeing as it was getting close to the holidays Papyrus decided to give his brother some slack… just a bit.

“Hehe, nice one bro.” Sans said as made to throw his snowball but stopped when another one collided with his skull. Shaking the cold mass off his head, Sans turned around to find Frisk standing behind their own fort and giggling. “Oh you’re gonna get it now kiddo. Come Here!”

Using one of his ‘shortcuts’, Sans soon found himself inside Frisk fort and dumping a handful of snow on their head. “I think I won this chilling battle.”

The rest of the day was filled with fun times, both in the snow and inside when it got too cold, and the whole time Sans’ smile was always there. Which normally wouldn’t be anything new but this one seemed genuine and not so much forced. And everyone noticed this. Everyone could see how relaxed Sans was and how, shockingly, he had not disappeared to take a nap the whole day. He was always seen with Frisk, and the child with the skeleton.

It was later in the evening now, the sun having long left and replaced with the full moon, and everyone found themselves in front of the tv watching some Mettaton holiday movie. It wasn’t a bad movie but it was not one of the robots bests, in everyone’s mind. But they watched it anyway, just for the sere reason of just enjoying everyone’s company.

Sans and Frisk lay on the small loveseat, the child sleepily laying atop the other, Toriel was on the couch with Papyrus, Undyne and Alphas sat on the floor with the latter in the first’s lap, and everyone was quiet. The movie was almost done and when Toriel turned to check the time she saw how late it really was. Turning to the pair in the loveseat, Toriel was going to say that Frisk should go to bed but the sight before her made her pause.

Sans was still awake, partly, but Frisk had fallen asleep. The child had somehow gotten the skeleton’s blue hoodie wrapped around them and the fur rimmed hood was covering half their face; revealing only a closed eye and a pink nose. If Toriel had to sum up this image she would call it nothing but cute and adorable.

“If you want, Sans, I can take Frisk to bed?” Toriel asked and at first she thought Sans must have fallen asleep as well when he didn’t respond. Thinking he did, the tall woman moved to pick up the child but when a boney arm wrapped around them Toriel stopped and saw Sans looking up at her with one open eye socket.

“Don’t worry about it Tori.” Sans said as he wrapped his other arm around Frisk. “The kid’s fine. I’ll take them to bed once the movie’s over.”

Nodding her head, Toriel walked back to her seat. Once seated, Papyrus turned to her with a smile and she returned it. Turning their attention back to the movie, everyone enjoyed it silently until the end. After saying goodnights, everyone went to their rooms for the night.

Wanting to make sure Frisk was sleeping well, Toriel walked to the child’s door but to her surprise she found it slightly agar. Frisk liked to shut their door at night, everyone knew this, and to see it open was a bit unnerving. Slowly walking up to the door, Toriel peered inside and saw that Frisk was in bed but sitting on the mattress next to them was Sans.

Sans’ back was to the door so he didn’t see Toriel and he obviously hadn’t heard her walk up as he didn’t turn to face her. Toriel was confused as to why Sans was still in Frisk’s room and was about to walk in but when she heard Sans’ voice speak up she paused.

“Had a fun day today, didn’t you kiddo.” Sans said softly. “Worked yourself to the bone with all that playing. Heh, I’ll emit it, it was kind of fun. I bet she would have loved playing in the snow with you.”

‘She?’ Toriel thought. ‘Who is Sans talking about?’

Toriel knew it was impolite to eavesdrop on private conversation, but her curiosity got the best of her. So she stayed where she was and silently continued to listen.

“I bet she would have loved you.” Sans continued. “I can’t be for certain but… she seemed like she would have been a sweet kid, like you. I bet you two would have been the best of friends. Maybe… you would have seen her as a sibling? I don’t know, maybe it’s just me being sentimental, but I would like to think you would.”

The more Sans talked the more Toriel became confused. Who was Sans referring to? Toriel took a guess it was some girl, from all the gender references, and that it was someone young, but that was all she was getting. Sans had always been a cryptic speaker to begin with but this just confused Toriel to no end.

“… I miss her, a lot, and I didn’t even get the chance to get to know her.” Sans said and Toriel could make out a faint blue glow coming from him. “Maybe this is my punishment, for not wanting her the first go. It has to be. I was too afraid of getting attached to someone I thought wouldn’t be there that I pushed the gift away. Maybe I’m meant to be bonely, I don’t know anymore.

“But then there’s you. Even after all the things I did to you, genocide after genocide, death after death, you still opened your heart to me. Maybe this is my redemption, where I couldn’t be there for her, I can be there for you.” By now the blue light was no longer faint and was growing in intensity. Toriel was confused as to where this light was coming from but she did not move. Though she was slightly concerned about what Sans was saying, something told her he was not going to harm Frisk. So she continued to listen.

“You may not be my kid, kiddo,” Sans said as he raised a hand and rested it on Frisk’s head. “But I see nothing stopping me from treating you like you are… sleep well Frisk.”

It was at that moment that the hand that Sans had on Frisk’s head blew up in this blue glowing flame. At first Toriel was shocked and had to do everything in her power to not gasp aloud, but when she saw that the flame wasn’t harming Frisk, but in fact that the child was leaning into the touch, she calmed herself.

Seeing that Sans didn’t appear to be leaving Frisk at the moment, Toriel decided to go to bed. She knew Sans wouldn’t harm Frisk, but with everything he had said to the resting child it made her cautious.

She would ask Papyrus about this in the morning, she decided, maybe he would know what Sans had wanted to keep secret with the sleeping Frisk.

* * *

 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

* * *

Morning came and like always the house was in a hustle and bustle. People were moving all over, getting breakfast and ready for the day, and Toriel wondered how no one was ever late for whatever it was they had to do during the day. The kitchen was always the center of the storm every morning and Toriel always took it upon herself to make breakfast.

After having lived with this, albeit weird, family Toriel knew what everyone liked in the morning better than anyone else.

Undyne preferred tea and oatmeal or scrambled eggs, Alphas would always have cereal, Papyrus (though he was a pasta fanatic) was given pancakes or French toast, Frisk enjoyed everything and anything under the sun, and Sans was pretty much the same as long as it had ketchup with it. Toriel herself would have coffee most of the time with some toast with jam.

So after making sure everyone was fed, well those who were up, Sans and Frisk were still in bed, Toriel sat down at the table with Papyrus who was the only one at the table. Undyne and Alphas had already left for work and that left the skeleton and the goat woman alone at the table.

Papyrus didn’t have to be at work till later in the day, since working at a local mall as a security guard his hours varied, and it gave Toriel enough time to talk to the taller skeleton. Taking a sip of her coffee, Toriel looked at the skeleton and found him quietly enjoying his meal but in his hand he held a book… a dating book.

“Got a date?” Toriel asked, but she kind of already had an idea to her answer.

“Yes, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, do indeed have a date. In a couple of days Mettaton is taking me out to someplace special, he said that I would enjoy myself. So I am just making sure I study up on how the perfect date should go.” Papyrus said as he continued to read the book.

Giggling to herself, Toriel set down her coffee and took a bite of her toast. Of course it would be Mettaton that was taking Papyrus out on a date. It was obvious that the skeleton loved the robot star, and even though the robot was a bit self-centered it also showed that Mettaton cared for Papyrus.

“Sounds fun… can I ask you something Papyrus?” Toriel responded, knowing it was now or never. Especially when Sans could wake up at any moment.

“Of course, your Majesty! What can I, The Great Papyrus, do for you?” Papyrus asked as he set his book down.

“… I overheard Sans talking to Frisk last night. Frisk was asleep so they didn’t hear him, which is why I think he was talking to them, but Sans… said something that made me curious.” Toriel said and when Papyrus did not say anything she continued. “He never said a name but I believe he was talking of a girl and with the way he was speaking of her it sound as if something happened to her. I was wondering if… if maybe you knew something on this matter?”

Papyrus stayed silent, a silence that worried Toriel, especially with the sad and forlorn look the skeleton had on his face. He also appeared to be deep in thought about what Toriel said and Toriel was about to say to simply forget about it and that it wasn’t her business, but Papyrus beat her to it.

“I never thought my brother would bring her up again,” Papyrus said quietly, as if on guard for his brother to come in right at that moment. “It… was a sad thing that happened with my brother and it happened rather quickly, but time does not really matter with pain.”

“Did he loose someone close to him?” Toriel asked. “Like a girlfriend or something?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that.” Papyrus said as he shook his head. “Sans has never been one for… relationships. I honestly can say I have only seen his go on a handful of dates, even I, The Great Papyrus, have gone on more than my brother has.”

At this hearing this it confused Toriel even more. Papyrus was the younger of the two brothers, despite his height, and Toriel somehow thought of Sans as being the womanizer. She thought he would have had a ton of girlfriends, a _skele_ -ton, but here was Papyrus chopping down the idea of Sans loosing someone like that.

“So if it wasn’t a girlfriend, was it just someone special? A good friend?” Toriel asked, she knew she was being a bit nosy but she was honestly curious about this matter.

“It was indeed someone special… very special to Sans.” Papyrus said as he turned away. “But I am afraid your Majesty that it is not my place to talk about Lucida.”

‘Lucida, so that was the name behind his mystery girl’ Toriel thought to herself. It wasn’t much, since Papyrus wasn’t going to talk about her, but at least Toriel had come out of this conversation with a name. Though the look on Papyrus’ face told the goat woman that it was by accident.

“Uh… Forget you ever heard that name!” Papyrus shouted as he stood up. “I, uh, have to go. I need to be at work early today. Have a great day your Majesty.”

And with that Toriel was left alone at the table as Papyrus made a quick dash to his room. As she watched the skeleton leave, her eyes caught the forms of Sans and Frisk walking into the room. Well, Sans was walking in with Frisk in their arms and they still had his jacket on.

“What’s up with Papyrus?” Sans asked as he came to the table and placed Frisk in a chair. “He looks like someone scared him right out of his skin.”

“Oh, it was nothing.” Toriel said, not even laughing at the pun. “I was just asking him a question when he realized he was going to be late for work.”

“Oh… You okay? You look like you a bit frazzled _tibia_ honest.” Sans said, and even though it was with a pun it was obvious he was concerned.

“I-I am fine.” Toriel lied. “I am… just overthinking somethings.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Sans said as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured him a glass.

Thanking the skeleton silently for not pushing the matter, Toriel turned to Frisk with a warm smile. “And what would you like this morning, my child?”

* * *

 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

* * *

The next few days were like walking on egg shells with Toriel and Papyrus. Whenever the two were in the same room they would share a look that would tell that something was bothering them, but for two different reasons.

After so many encounters though Toriel noticed that Papyrus was now outright trying to avoid her in any way he could. The only times he couldn’t were at meals and when the house had family nights. Family nights usually involved either playing a few games or some tv/movie time before bed, and even during those times Papyrus barely spoke a word to Toriel.

And it was not just Toriel who was starting to notice this.

It was just after everyone was getting ready for bed when Toriel overheard them. She had been passing in the hallway when she passed Papyrus’ room, and from the voices coming from inside it Sans was in there as well. Toriel would have just marked it off as Sans reading his brother a bedtime story and continued on her way, but when he name was mentioned she stopped.

“Hey Pap, why have you been avoid Tori?” Sans voice came from behind the door. “And don’t lie to me that you’re not, it obviously that you are.”

There was a moment of silence and Toriel began to wonder if Papyrus would say anything at all but when his voice came up she got her answer.

“… She overheard you.” Papyrus said quietly.

“Overheard me? Overheard me say what? Did I say something that upset the two of you, ‘cause if I did you guys have to throw me a bone so I know and can apologize.” Sans said, a hint of worry in his tone.

“No, no, Sans it is nothing like that… Toriel just overheard you talking with Frisk a couple of nights ago and… she heard you talking about… her.” Papyrus said and Toriel really felt uncomfortable listen to this conversation, especially when Sans didn’t speak up for what seemed like the longest time. She was about to leave when Sans spoke again.

“… D-Did you tell her anything?” Sans asked and if Toriel didn’t know any better she thought it sounded like he was crying.

“No, she asked me about it and I told her it was not my place.” Papyrus said softly. “… I honestly never thought you would bring her up again, even if it was when the human was asleep.”

Again, a moment of silence from Sans.

“… Yeah… Frisk got me thinking about her lately.” Sans spoke softly, soft sobbing mixed with it. “Thanks for not, you know, telling Toriel…”

“Brother, I know this is a sensitive subject with you but… Maybe you should talk to Toriel.” Papyrus said. “Maybe she can… help you move past this. I know you don’t like to talk about it, even with me, but you have to talk about it sometime. Keeping it bottle up is not healthy.”

Sans didn’t speak again, even longer this time, and Toriel thought that maybe he was too angry to speak but yet again she was proven wrong when his voice came up silently.

“You won’t leave this only unless I do it, right?” Sans asked and Toriel had to guess that Papyrus gave him a nod because the other skeleton never spoke again. “… Fine, I’ll talk to Toriel about it. I’ll… find some time to pull her aside and tell her.”

“Thank you brother, it hurts me seeing you in such pain.” Papyrus finally spoke and at this point Toriel finally decided to continue on her way to her room.

Though she now knew she would get the answers she was seeking, she knew that the brothers needed some time alone without her listening in on their conversation.

* * *

 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

* * *

It was no longer just Papyrus avoid Toriel now. Sans had joined in the evasion game but where Papyrus was sly about it, saying he had to go do something, Sans was more blunt. The moment Toriel walked into a room that Sans was in he would quickly get up and speedily walk away, and if that wasn't possible he would use one of his 'short-cuts' and be gone from his spot in a blink of an eye. This confused Toriel, somewhat, but she knew that Sans would come to her in time. He had a promise to keep to his brother and Sans didn't make many promises, but the ones he did he kept to the best to his abilities.

About a week had passed and still Sans didn't come to her. Toriel was beginning to wonder if the skeleton would ever talk to her. Right now Toriel was sitting in the living room, reading a book, and enjoying the silence the night offered. Everyone had turned in early but Toriel couldn't sleep. He mind refused to shut down for the night so the only thing she could think of was to read.

Turning the page in her book, Toriel almost didn't register the movement on the other side of the couch, but when something caught the corner of her vision she turned to find what it was. Sitting next to her, with their gaze to the floor, was Sans. He was dressed in his normal shorts and tank-top but his jack was missing. His hands sat in his lap, gripping his shorts tightly, and his eye sockets were shut just as tight. It looked like it took ever ounce of will power for Sans to sit down next to the goat woman and not make a quick get away.

"So... Pap told me something a couple of days ago." Sans voice was low, lower than normal, and it was very quiet. "He said that you _overheard_ something."

Closing her book, Toriel nodded with a sad expression. "I didn't mean to snoop, I had just been passing by and I... was curious."

Sans didn't respond. He still wasn't looking at Toriel and she was starting to wonder if he was angry with her. Hearing a sigh come from the skeleton Toriel watched as the grip Sans had on his shorts lessened and he slowly turned to face her. The white dots that equaled as Sans' pupils were so small and Toriel could swear she saw in the corner of his sockets the beginning form of tears.

"I'm not mad Tori," Sans said. "but the things you overheard are... some things I don't like to bring up. The only reason I said it to Frisk was because the kid was out cold and... I just needed to get some things off my chest."

"If you do not wished to talk about it, I understand. I was in the wrong to eavesdrop and it is not my place to make you speak about something that is clearly troubling to you." Toriel said as she went to stand up, but was stopped when Sans' hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

"No, I mean... I think I need to talk about this." Sans said and his grip on Toriel grew tight. "I have kept quiet about this for so long and it would be nice to have someone in the loop besides Frisk."

Slowly nodding her head, Toriel continued to sat seated and waited for Sans to speak. She would not rush him in this, she would be patient, and allow him to take his time. A few moments passed in silence with Sans still holding Toriel's wrist but when the skeleton pulled his hand back the silence was cut.

"Before I talk about... you need to understand a few things first." Sans said as he lowered his head into his hands. "You see, this isn't the first time we've been to the surface..."

And from there Sans spun the tale of the resets and how Frisk was able to pretty much control time. He told Toriel of how Chara took control of Frisk's mind and body and made them do the genocide runs and how he... stopped her countless times. Sans was kind of surprised when Toriel didn't jump at him for pretty much emitting to killing her child many times, but he just chalked it up to that she was still processing everything. Sans continued on to talk about how he found out about Chara controlling Frisk and how the two secretly worked together to obliterate the evil spirit and free Frisk. And then he finished with how this had been the longest time since a reset and it looked as though it was the last.

Toriel for her part stayed silent through the whole thing. At first she had a feeling that Sans was making this up, but when he brought up the name Chara she froze. That was one name she thought she would never hear again. And with what Sans told her about Frisk and Chara... she slowly found herself believing him.

After Sans had finished talking, the two found themselves in a thick silence. Sans being quiet for the sake of letting Toriel absorb everything and Toriel was for the reason she was still processing it. Once the skeleton thought that she had enough time to let this information to sink in, Sans spoke again.

"Now that is out of the way... I guess we can move on to the actual reason I'm here." Sans said as he rubbed the back of his skull. "Most restarts always went back a certain time, but it wasn't always the same. Usually time would restart about a day or two, maybe three, but... there was this one time it went back a whole month."

"A month?" Toriel finally spoke. "Why that far back?"

"Don't know, never did and probably never will." Sans said with a soft chuckle. "But it did. I usually know how far back a reset would go because I had this calendar up in my room and I always circled the days. Well, after this one reset, I woke up and found that the whole month was clear of circles. At first I was concerned, but me being the lazybones that I am just thought it had to do something with Frisk or maybe that annoying flower. So I went about my day like normal. I worked with Pap and napped around but... something about this day was different than most."

"What made this reset different?" Toriel asked.

"Well... a stranger came to Snowdin." Sans said and Toriel could make out the light blue blush forming on his cheekbones. "I was _chilling_ out at Grillby's when he came into the bar. He was dressed nice, a bit too nice honestly, but what really caught my attention was that he was a skeleton. It had been a while since I had seen another skeleton besides Papyrus, so seeing this random guy walking into Grillby's kind of shocked me. Most skeletons lived in the capital, because they don't really care for the cold, so seeing this guy interested me.

"He saw me and I guess he was just as surprised. He joined me up at the bar and we started talking. Turns out he was a lawyer from the capital coming to talk with a client before there court date. It explained why he was dressed in that fancy suit... he was really nice, he even laughed at the corny pun I made with his name." Sans said as his smile softened and the blush grew more, he looked to be off in a fond memory.

"What was his name?" Toriel asked.

"Yu, Yu Gothic." Sans said and Toriel couldn't suppress the laughter that came from her. What was it with skeletons and naming their children after fonts? "Yeah, I know. I did a knock knock joke with his name and he nearly fell off the stool he was sitting on. He said he had never heard that one before."

Sans grew silent a moment and Toriel could see the pained look in his expression. Though he was still smiling, it looked sad and like he was regretting something. She wanted to reach out to Sans but something told her not to.

"So we talked some more, we talked for so long that we were the last ones to leave Grillby's before it closed." Sans said as he rubbed the palm of his left hand, like he was feeling or remembering a touch from someone. "He... he said he wanted to talk to me some more, see _more_ of me."

Now, Toriel was no dummy so she knew what that actually meant when this Yu fellow said he wanted to see more of Sans. She wasn't going to judge Sans, he was her friend, and for monsters there were all types of gender relationships. And if Sans sought the comfort of another male skeleton, who was she to say no?

"He said he had a room at the Inn and asked if I wanted to join him." Sans said with a far off look in his sockets. The blue blush had yet to leave his face and Toriel thought it was a lovely shade on Sans. "I told him I would but that it would probably be better if he went in without me. Snowdin was a small town and word spread faster than the snowfall, and I didn't need Papyrus hearing about this."

At this Toriel frowned. Sans was always looking out for his brother and it was more than obvious he loved Papyrus and here he was saying that he didn't want his little brother hearing bad things about him. This time, Toriel did reach out for Sans and placed a hand on his shoulder. This caught Sans by surprise and when he looked up at Toriel he saw the gentle smile on her.

"Papyrus would never think less of you Sans. He loves you far too much to stop loving you, just like I know you do for him." Toriel said softly.

Sans was silent a moment but with a small nod and smile he leaned into Toriel's touch. "Thanks Tori."

The goat woman only nodded and went quiet; waiting for Sans to continue.

"Well... either way, we ended up in his room. And I have to say it was... nice, after so many resets it was nice to just have a night to myself and enjoy my own person moment." Sans said and to keep his pride he didn't go deep into the details. "I guess I must have passed out 'cause the next thing I know is that I am alone in the room. Yu left a note saying how it was nice meeting me and how he enjoyed having me over and how if he ever found himself in Snowdin again he would look for me. I wasn't shocked by this, he did say he was leaving in the morning, but... I don't know, I guess I had hoped I would at least get to see him leave.

"But I knew I shouldn't get attached to someone I just met. Who knew when the next reset would happen and who's to say it would even go back this far again." Sans continued on but Toriel could see the hurt look in his eye sockets. He obviously had like this Yu character and it made Toriel want to find this monster and rip him apart for just leaving Sans with nothing but a note. "So I went about my days like normal. I circled the days on my calendar, counting down the days till Frisk would come, and just waited. I will say that it was nice to just relax without having to worry about the kid and stuff.

"But as the days passed, I started to feel... off. I can't really describe it other than that I had a bad feeling in my bones. It was like there was this heaviness in my body, my soul, and no matter what I did it would go away. After the first week of it I just ignored it, thinking it was probably just something that would go on its own, but as the weeks kept coming the feeling didn't leave. In fact it got worse." Sans said as he rubbed his sternum.

"What was it?" Toriel asked.

"... I bet you can guess, for obvious reasons, that skeletons aren't made in the normal means like most monsters." Sans said quietly, his hand still on his chest. "You see, when one skeleton loves another one a lot they doing this special thing called soul mingling."

Toriel nodded, she wasn't very educated with skeleton biology but she knew enough that soul mingling was pretty much the only way a skeleton could really be intimate with anyone. All monsters could do it, but skeletons used soul mingling far more than any other. Soul mingling was tricky though, mingle too little and you didn't get the desired effect, mingle too much and you... could get some side effects.

And now that she thought on it, with what Sans was saying it meant that... oh... _oh._ Surely he didn't mean _that?_

"You mean that you... you had a..." Toriel tried to spit it out but the words wouldn't come. Thankfully Sans saw this and gave his friend a reassuring smile before speaking for her.

"A new soul forming from mine? Yeah, I did." Sans said like it was the most normal thing in the world but the look he had on him told Toriel he had been just as shocked when it happened. "I didn't know this though until... well, until it was time. It had started out like a boring day, Pap had me at my station to watch out for humans, but during the whole time I had this uncomfortable pain. It started out like nothing, just a twinge, but as the day progressed it escalated. By the afternoon it was now a constant throbbing in my soul and I was kind of concerned. I figured I was coming down with something so I left Pap a note and went home.

"When I got there the pain had subsided for the moment and I took it upon myself to go to my room and rest. Maybe a good rest would make this pain go away, I thought, but as it got darker out it didn't. By now I am in bed and I am sweating bullets, and being the bonehead I was I just stayed in my room to wait it out. It was around midnight when Papyrus had finally had enough of my screaming I guess and came storming into my room." Sans said, his hand now gripping the shirt over his chest.

"I told him to just leave me alone and that I was just having a bad time with this cold or whatever it was. But Pap wouldn't have that. He told me to sit up so he could get a look at me and when I did I guess Papyrus saw something. The next thing I know is that Pap is tearing my shirt off and when I look down at my chest I see my soul shaking and flickering. To say I was scared out of my bones would be an understatement." Sans spoke softly but Toriel could hear the shaking in it. "Papyrus being Papyrus didn't know what was going on but I did. And the very first thing that went through my mind was how could I stop this?"

At this Toriel inwardly cringed. Sans didn't want the new soul, and had wondered how to get rid of it. Part of her could understand why Sans was thinking this, but the other part was furious with him. Every new soul, new life, was precious and should be cared for and loved.

"But I was already too far into this to stop it." Sans said and by now a small trail of blue tears began to fall down his face. "And before I know what do to a new soul is splitting from mine. It took a moment for it to settle but soon a body took shape. They were so small looking when Papyrus wrapped them up in my jacket that I thought they would just disappear in it. Papyrus was curious about what just happened but I could tell he was ecstatic about being an uncle... I can't say the same thing for me though."

Toriel could sense Sans was trying to calm himself down but it did him no good. Tears were now falling down profusely and his body was wracked with shaking, simply put Sans looked really beat.

"I told Pap to take it away. I didn't want to look at it." Sans said as he wrapped his arms around himself. "I didn't want to get attached to someone I knew would be gone by the next reset so I pushed them away. Papyrus was shocked at first and after another failed attempt to get me to hold the kid he walked out of my room. The rest of the night I was undisturbed but the image of that kid never left my mind. All I could see was them and something deep in me told to go to them; just hold them and never let go. But I knew that if I got attached to it now that it would only hurt more when a reset happened... so I did the only thing I could think of.

"I walked down to the living room to find the kid in a makeshift crib Pap had made for it. It had blankets wrapped all around it and it looked to be resting peacefully." Sans said closing his eye sockets. "They had this little pink bow on their skull that I guess Papyrus had tied to them I guess, so I figured out their gender rather quickly. Some times I wonder if that made it easier or harder to do what I was about to do. Picking them up, I took a shortcut I knew would take me to the capital. Once there I made my way to this orphanage I had seen once. I figured that they... she would be safe there. At least until the next reset and then they wouldn't..."

By this point Toriel was crying softly herself. She didn't know whether to be angry with Sans or to feel sorry for him. Deep down he wanted to love the child, but he was afraid of loosing her to a reset that he was pushing her away. Without thinking, Toriel pulled Sans into a hug didn't let him go. Sans didn't push away, but once in Toriel's embrace the floodgates fell and tears he had been holding back flew out from him.

"I didn't want to Toriel, but... I gave her a name." Sans said through sobs. "I at least wanted to have known he enough to say her name... Lucida."

Toriel said nothing, just continued to hold onto Sans. This had not been what she was expecting to hear but none the less she was here for Sans.

"After that I left and went home. When Papyrus woke up he was furious with me and refused to talk to me for a couple of days, but you know Papyrus, he can't stay quiet for long." Sans said, his head resting against Toriel's shoulder. "And it wasn't long before Frisk came back and everything went like normal. Chara was in control this time so... yeah. The reset happened, Chara wanting another go at killing everyone, but something happened Tori."

"What happened?" Toriel asked, hopefulness thick in her voice.

"When this reset happened it was back to normal. Two days before Frisk would come. I woke up with Papyrus banging on my door to wake up." Sans said quietly. "For a moment I wanted to cry, cry for the kid I had now lost twice. But I knew I had to go on like nothing happened, or I would worry Papyrus. So I did, I put on a smile and went on like I was fine. But when Frisk came something felt weird. When I found time to get away from everyone I manifested my soul and... I nearly died at what I saw.

"T-The kid, I don't know how, but... it reset with me." Sans said as he hugged Toriel harder. "Some how when the reset happened it sent them back to me."

"That's good than," Toriel said with a smile. "That means you had someone who would always be there with you."

"... I wish I had thought of it like that Tori." Sans said as he suddenly pushed away from Toriel and sat on the other side of the couch.

"Sans? What's wrong, what happened?" Toriel asked, sensing something bad.

"... Please don't hate me Toriel, but... I couldn't stand the fact that I would just end up bring that kid into this world and just dumping them off on the orphanage's doorstep." Sans said as he pulled his legs to his chest and tried to make himself as small as possible. "I just... I just could stand to see their face again. So I... I... I..."

Toriel found herself placing a hand over her mouth. Sans couldn't mean that he... no, he couldn't. Sans was always against taking anyone's life, even the most evilest of a person. But...

"You didn't. Please tell me I am just overreacting and that you did not do what I am thinking you did."

But Sans didn't respond, he didn't even look at Toriel and by now Sans eye sockets were completely black. Sobbing uncontrollably, Sans' left socket suddenly burst with blue flames that kissed at the tears that fell from him.

"I regret it every time I did it Tori!" Sans sobbed. "But every time there was a reset, she was always there next to my soul. And I couldn't take it, I couldn't live knowing I would see her face and then just watch it disappear again! So in my mind at the time I figured it was a better option. If she had to disappear it would be better by my hands than by a reset."

Toriel couldn't speak. This was something a lot of monsters were against. To... to terminate a life was ghastly and from what Sans said he had done it every time there was a reset... "Oh God... Sans..."

Toriel wanted to smack Sans, hit him till he had some sense, but that isn't what she did. Pulling the skeleton close to her, Toriel again hugged Sans. Sans was shocked by Toriel's sudden hug and fought to escape her hold but couldn't. When he finally calmed down to see that she wasn't going to hurt him, Sans looked up at Toriel to see that she was crying too.

"Oh Sans, I don't have any words to express how I feel but... I am so sorry how you had to live through that." Toriel finally spoke and it only made Sans already crumbling walls fall more. Even after telling her all he did, Toriel was still wanting to comfort Sans.

For some time the two just sat there on the couch, sobbing, but soon Sans spoke up with a faint smile on his face.

"Y-You want to know something?" Sans said as he looked up at Toriel. "The last reset... I kept her."

"What?" Toriel asked with a confused look. "But then where-"

"She didn't make it." Sans interrupted. His expression looked exhausted but he still had a smile on his face, though it looked forced. "After finally free Frisk from Chara, we did one last reset so everyone would be alive and make it to the surface. And like always... she came back. This time though, I let her stay. I figured, since now that we would be go to the surface once Frisk came back... I could finally have her and not be afraid to lose her. Frisk came and after their first day in the underground nothing happened.

"I was a bit worried but I didn't question it. The kid could come out whenever they wanted and I didn't think about it. But when I felt the pain something about it felt off. I had happened to be out with Frisk in the capital when the pain started so I knew I had time. But as the night progressed I knew something was up. I managed to make it home just in time to collapse on the couch. This pain was different, it felt more like someone was shredding my soul into piece and not the splitting feeling like last time." Sans grew quiet for a moment. the blue flame in his left socket slowly dimming.

"Papyrus was home so when he came downstairs and found me laying there he became worried. I told what was happening and he nearly had a heart attack, well if he had a heart he would." Sans said with a light chuckle but it died down quickly. "He helped me through it like the first time and when the new soul split from mine I saw something. The new soul was flickering in and out and before I knew what was happening it just... disappeared."

By now Sans was crying again and Toriel couldn't blame him. After all those resets and being afraid of losing the child, the one time Sans wanted it and ended up losing it anyways.

"I don't remember how long I cried that night, but Papyrus stayed with me through it all." Sans said quietly, the blue flame now gone. "The next morning he asked if I wanted to talk about it.. about Lucida, but I told him no. I asked him to not bring it up and act like nothing happened. Surprisingly Papyrus did as I asked and well... here we are."

"Oh Sans, I am so sorry." Toriel said as Sans slowly sat up and looked up at her. "I can't imagine what it is like to go through something like that."

"It's alright Tori." Sans said with a shrug. "It... it can't be helped. At least I can say I did get to see her face once."

Suddenly Sans stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. His expression said he was fine and dandy, but his body language didn't. He was slouched over, shoulders slack, and with how bad his knees were shaking it was a surprise he was still standing. Walking over to the hallway, Stands stopped just before it but did not turn back to Toriel.

"Thanks... for listening. It means a ton."

"A _skele_ -ton?" Toriel asked, trying to lighten the mood and was grateful for the soft chuckle from Sans.

"Yeah, a _skele_ -ton... Night Tori." and with that Sans walked down the hall and left Toriel on the couch.

Neither would know it, but once each finally did go to bed, the two would each fall asleep to the sound of their own tears.

 


	2. The Reset that Started it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ¿¡Flashback Time!?

* **RESET**

Sans slowly opened his eye sockets. His body felt sore, but it always did after each reset. Pushing himself up on his bed, Sans reached over to flip on his lamp, well it was more like a flashlight stuck in where the lightbulb would be but it served its purpose. Once the room was enveloped in the dim light, the short skeleton gave his stiff bones a stretched.

The last reset hadn’t been a good one, Chara having control and making poor Frisk kill everyone around them. Rubbing his face, Sans really wished he knew of a better way to stop the evil spirit but this was time sensitive situation. They had to slowly weaken Chara, without getting her too suspicious, and when the moment was right Sans would pull her out of Frisk and truly end her.

But it wasn’t time yet. Chara was still too powerful and if Sans acted now he could possibly end up killing Frisk with the spirit. If that happened no, one would be seeing the surface. So Sans had to buy his time, wait for the right moment, and then strike.

Letting a yawn escape him, Sans turned to his calendar to see how many days this reset had gone back. The most he had ever seen was three days and those were few among the many resets. Rubbing his eye sockets tiredly, it occurred to Sans that he had woken up on his own and not by the pounding on his door from his brother.

It wasn’t _that_ unusual, Sans can remember a few times he woke up before Papyrus, but most of the time the taller skeleton was up before the crack of dawn. So without a second thought to it, Sans looked at the calendar thinking nothing was out of the norm and nearly fell off his bed in shock at what he saw.

Sans always kept his reset dates in check by circling the days on the calendar. The resets never went back more than three days, so usually there was only that many missing from the calendar, but this time…

The whole month was clear of any circles.

“W-what?” Sans said as he stared at the circle-less page. “Why did we go so far back?”

Fear quickly gripped at Sans’ soul and the first thing that came to his mind was if everyone was still alright. Bolting up out of the bed, Sans raced to his door. Something wasn’t right about this reset. What if something had happened and it resulted in him being the only one in the underground?! So many other scenarios played through Sans’ skull as he quickly open his door, but they all stopped the moment he saw who was standing before him.

Papyrus looked as if he was just about to knock on Sans’ door to wake him and from the surprised look on his face he was not expecting his brother to up.

“Oh, Sans you are already up?” Papyrus said in shock. “Have you finally decided to no longer be a lazybones and actually do something for a change?”

Sans wanted nothing more than to hug his brother right there and cry tears of relief. His brother was alright, he wasn’t alone. Sans’s body screamed at him to lunge at his brother and not let go, but he knew that would send up too many red flags. So he let out a shaky sigh and put on his normal smile.

“Naw Papyrus, you know me. I never put any _backbone_ into anything I do.”

“SANS! NOT THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING PLEASE!” Papyrus shouted as he stormed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Now alone, Sans let his smile fall and he leaned up against the wall. With the knowledge that his brother was still here, it left Sans wondering what could have made this reset go so far back. It had been so long since Sans had even thought about looking back more than three days and now he had to relive a whole month. Perspiration formed on his skull with how confused and shocked Sans was.

Maybe the kid had something to do with it? Maybe Frisk had gained some strength to send them back this far or it could possibly some outside force with an ulterior motive. Sans wasn’t sure what could have made the reset go _this_ far back, but he was not going to look a gifted horse in the mouth as the humans say. If he had a month to relax before the kid came back then he was going to do that; relax.

Joining Papyrus down in the kitchen, Sans started his day like normal. The skele-bros had a silent breakfast of pancakes and noodles, cooked by Sans for a change, and after that they went on like they did every day. Sans went out on patrols with Papyrus, recalibrated some puzzles to appease his brother, napped at his station, worked at his hotdog/hotcat stand, and after all this Sans found himself in a shocking situation.

After all of this, after going through his normal routine, Sans found himself in a position he hadn’t had in a long time.

Sans was bored.

Sans wasn’t used to having time on his hands, as he always had his time filled up with watching out for and worrying about the kid, but now the kid wasn’t here and wouldn’t be here for a long time.

So when the end of the day came, instead of using one of his shortcuts, Sans decided to walk all the way from the hotlands to Grillby’s. It was a nice change of scenery, in a sense, and it gave Sans time to think. A whole month, _a month_ , and Sans wasn’t sure what he would do with that much time.

‘ _Tibia_ honest, I probably will just sleep through most of it.’ Sans thought to himself and laughed at his own joke.

When Sans finally made it back to Snowdin it was dark out, and by the time he made it to Grillby’s a snow storm was picking up. Entering the bar, Sans was met with the locals and regulars of the establishment. The Royal Guard Dogs were sitting together, few monsters sitting in the booths, and Grillby behind the bar.

Taking his spot at the bar, Sans just asked for some ketchup from Grillby. When the fire monster returned with his condiment, he asked Sans how his day was and Sans just replied with how it was nothing special but after seeing the bar owner it had _brightened_ Sans’ day.

Grillby only ignored the pun and went about his business like normal. Sans only shrugged and went on to drink his ketchup in peace. Grillby wasn’t the best of an audience but beggars can’t be choosers. The bar was relatively quiet tonight, aside from the occasional barks from Greater Dog and the few occupants of the room’s small talk, so when the sound of the door opening was heard it caught Sans’ attention. Turning to see who it was, Sans was shocked at what his sockets saw.

It was another skeleton and he was dressed far too nice for Grillby’s bar. He was a slender and tall fellow, not as tall as Papyrus though, and he wore a black suit that had a gold trim on the sleeves and collar. As an undershirt the skeleton wore a light gray turtleneck that fit snuggly against his neck vertebrae. Slung over his shoulder was a deep red colored bag and Sans could see some papers sticking out of it. His left eye socket was nothing but blackness but his right one had the same white dot that Sans’ own sockets had, and it was moving around franticly.

This caught Sans’ attention the most since skeleton eye sockets were either blank or with the white pinpricks, the pinpricks being more dominate in magic wielding skeletons, and it was unheard of one having both. Sans wouldn’t deny that it made the new guy look interesting… but in a good way.

The skeleton looked a bit frazzled and confused when walking into the bar, like he wasn’t expecting this many monsters, and from how he was slowly backing up Sans could guess he was having second thoughts about coming in here. Feeling something inside him twist at the thought of the guy leaving, Sans raised his hand into the air and gave it a wave.

“Hey, ya just gonna walk in without even trying some of Grillby’s cooking?”

The skeleton gave a slight jolt at being called at, but once his sockets got a glimpse at who had been the one shouting his body visibly relaxed.  Slowly making his way over to Sans, the new skeleton took a seat on the stool next to him. The way he sat there, Sans noticed, was very proper like, back straight, elbows off the bar, and head held high, and it only made him look more out of place in the local eatery.

“I wasn’t expecting to see another skeleton out here.” the new guy said. His voice was shaky in the beginning, but turned into a firm alto. “I honestly thought we all lived in the capital.”

“Well tibia honest, my brother and I weren’t really fond of how busy the capital was. So we moved out here.” Sans said holding his hand out to the new skeleton. “Sans.”

“Yu, Yu Gothic.” Yu said as he took Sans offered hand… and was greeted with a squelching sound.

At that point the whole bar was erupting in laughter and if Sans wasn’t laughing himself he would have felt kind of bad for making Yu the, obviously unwanted, center of attention. The poor guy looked even more frazzled now then he had been when he first walked in and he had this bright red blush forming on his cheek bones. Sans found that he liked that shade of red the longer it stayed on Yu’s face.

“The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick,” Sans said as he relieved the source of the noise. “Never gets old.”

“I see…” Yu said as he turned to face the bar and he had this embarrassed and pitiful expression on him that made Sans’ smile disappear.

“Hey, it was _ulna_ a joke. I didn’t mean to stress you out.” Sans said as he placed his hand on Yu’s shoulder but didn’t get a response. Trying to think fast, since Sans for some odd reason didn’t want Yu to leave yet, Sans smiled when an idea came to him.

“Knock Knock.”

Yu didn’t seem to hear Sans so giving the other skeleton a shake Sans tried again.

“Hm, what now?” Yu asked and Sans couldn’t help but laugh lightly at how cute this guy was with how his eye sockets just looked at him.

“I said ‘Knock Knock’.” Sans said, trying to hold in his laughter.

“Um… Who’s there?”

“Yu.”

“…Yu who?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten who you are?!”Sans shouted silently, as to not let the rest of the bar hear.

Sans had expected something like a light chuckle, or maybe another red blush from this guy, but that is not what he got. The laughter that Yu suddenly belted out was so strong and powerful that it sent the slender skeleton falling out of his seat. Reacting fast, Sans managed to catch Yu by the wrist and save the poor fellow from having a nice meeting with the floor.

Even as Sans pulled Yu back onto his seat the skeleton was still laughing. Now, Sans isn’t the best judge of character, but anyone who laughs this hard at a simple knock knock joke either is too worked up and tense or has never really had a good time. Judging how Yu was still laughing… It might be both.

“Wow… I honestly can say I have never heard that one before.” Yu said as his face again blushed red. “Thanks for the, you know, save there.”

Giving a shrug, Sans winked at Yu. “No problem. I won’t be _fibula_ when I say that I didn’t want you to fall.”

Again, Yu’s face seemed to find a way to blush even redder. This guy really need to learn how to _chill_ out, Sans thought, he gets flustered too much.

“So, uh… What brings you to Snowdin?” Sans asked when things between the two had started to go silent.

“I am here seeing a client; I’m a lawyer.” Yu said with confidence, quite clearly liking his job. “They couldn’t make it to the capital to see me so I said I would come here.”

“Really?” Sans said, actually finding an interest in Yu being a lawyer. “Sounds a bit _objective_.”

Again, Yu let out that laugh of his and Sans could only describe it as being a mix of the calming sound of rain but mixed in with the sound of thunder. The more Yu laughed the more Sans wanted to hear more of it.

“Yeah, I guess it can be.” Yu said looking more relaxed the more he talked to Sans. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Nothing special. I work a couple odd jobs here and there, but I’m mostly a lazybones.” Sans said as he took a sip of his ketchup.

“Something tells me that it is not completely true.” Yu said with a calm smile.

“What, you got some lawyer-super-sense or something?” Sans laughed and Yu did as well.

“Maybe I do.” Yu said as Grillby finally came by and asked what Yu would like. “What’s good here, Sans?”

“I would go with the burger or fries. Both are the best this place has.”  Sans said as he shot Grillby a glance.

After having ordered something to eat for the both of them, Yu and Sans talked more. Sans found out that Yu was kind of like Alphys. A bit of a nervous wreck, but as long as Yu was talking about things he likes he was calm and cool as a cucumber. Sans didn’t mind talking about lawyer things, if it gave this guy a time to chill and not be so frazzled Sans would continue to listen, but the more Yu talked to him the more Sans felt his soul give a flutter.

Sans couldn’t remember when he last felt like this, after so many resets things like these tended to be forgotten, and as the night progressed he liked it more and more. The two talked about everything, once Yu became more open and calm, and joked with each other. Sans also became aware as they continued to talk that Yu was losing his layers of clothing. It first started with the shoulder bag being dropped to the floor, then the jacket part of the suit, and finally the extra thin coat that was hidden behind the black jacket.

Skeletons weren’t very fond of being cold, since they had no skin to really protect them from harsher element, and that was one of the reasons not many of them were found in Snowdin. Sans and Papyrus had lived here so long though that they had just gotten used to it… it also didn’t help that Sans always had this constant warmth to him… Normally skeletons didn’t give off heat, but Sans was a _special_ case.

So now the two were sitting at the bar, Yu now in only his tight turtleneck and his jackets folded in his lap and Sans having a light buzz since Grillby had given him a shot of hot sauce. Hot sauce for some reason always gave Sans a buzz, he didn’t know why but he never asked.

They talked and talked for hours it seemed, and it became apparent they had been when Grillby said that it was close to closing time. Turning around both skeletons were shock to find that the bar was completely empty; everyone having left long ago. Yu blushed and apologized to Grillby, but the bar owner said that it was alright and said how it had been nice to see Sans so relaxed.

At hearing this Sans own cheek bones blushed blue and quickly said his goodbyes to Grillby.  Sans waited by the door for Yu, as the other skeleton was busy trying to get his many layers back on, and when he finally made it to the door the pair stepped out of the building together. The snow storm was still ragging on and even after zipping up his jacket Sans scooting closer to Yu, to shield himself from the snow.

Suddenly feeling a presence against his hand, Sans looked down to see another hand holding his own and as his sockets followed up the arm attacked to it he saw that it was Yu’s. Feeling his face blush, Sans averted his gaze to the dark sky. If he continued to stare at Yu and his own red blush he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

“I… I had a nice time tonight,” Yu said as he gripped Sans hand tightly. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Dido.” Sans said, and honestly that was all he could muster at this point.

“I found it rather enjoyable,” Yu continued. “And… I don’t want it to stop. I would like to keep talking to you, to see _more_ of you before I leave.”

If Sans wasn’t blushing now, he sure was at this point. Did Yu just ask him _THAT?_

“Uh…” Sans said, feeling his skull getting warm. “I-I think I would like that too.”

Forcing himself to look at Yu, Sans saw that the other skeleton was just as shocked by his answer but he was this sweet smile on him. Gripping his hand tighter around Yu’s Sans knew that in a life like his own it wasn’t smart to be falling for someone, but… Yu seemed like such a nice guy and when he remembered he had a whole month to himself he rationalized that he deserved this.

“I have a room at the Inn.” Yu said as he gave a tug on Sans’ hand but when the smaller didn’t move he looked back in confusion.

“I, uh, think we should go in separately.” Sans said with his sockets looking at the ground with an embarrassed expression. “I don’t mean to be rude, but Snowdin is a small town and people like to gossip…”

In truth Sans wasn’t lying about the townspeople of this small remote area and their gossip, but the true reason why he said that was because he didn’t want his brother to hear of this. Yeah, a reset would happen eventually, but still… Sans didn’t want Papyrus, his little brother, over hearing bad things about him and making Sans’ only family look at him with disgust and worry about who he was seeing in the middle of the night. Even if it would only be for one reset, Sans didn’t want to see his brother disappointed with him.

“That’s fine.” Yu said warmly. “You can come in a few minutes after I do. My room is A1.”

Feeling Yu’s hand slowly slip out of his own, Sans watched as the other leisurely made his way to the Inn while always casting glances over his shoulder. As Sans watched him walk away, the skeleton again felt that fluttering feeling in his soul. Gripping the clothing above his sternum, Sans couldn’t believe what he was doing.

He was falling for someone who, Sans knew, wouldn’t be there the next reset.  Something deep inside told Sans that this was a onetime deal, going back a month, and that fact alone was making him want to push Yu away before he got himself deeper into this. But no matter how hard he tried, and no amount of internal yelling he did, Sans found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t help himself and Sans decided that he would allow his heart this one moment at happiness; well if he had a heart.

Once Sans was sure that Yu had gotten to his room, he used on of his shortcuts and appeared in the Inn’s room. It wasn’t much, it had a bed and a dresser and such, but Sans figured it would do for someone just stopping in Snowdin and not planning on staying long.

Hearing the sound of someone moving in the restroom Sans figured Yu was in there doing who knows what and that he had some time. Removing his jacket and tossing it lazily on a chair, Sans sat down at the foot of the bed and waited. He didn’t have to wait too long as Yu came out shortly after and from the shocked look on his face he was not expecting Sans.

“H-How did you get in here?” Yu asked.

“You, uh, left the door open. I just walked in.” Sans lied and with a quick flick of the wrist behind his back he unlocked the door.

‘Should have thought of that earlier…’ Sans thought as he watched Yu turn around and found that the door was indeed unlocked.

“Oh. Well, that’s alright. I just wasn’t expecting you that fast.” Yu said as he walked over to Sans and sat down next to him. Giving the other skeleton a look over, Sans saw that Yu had ditched the suit and now wore nothing but that gray turtleneck and some silky pajama bottoms. Blushing, Sans turned his head away. Yu really a _classy_ kind of guy and Sans was starting to wonder why he was interested in a big boned guy like himself.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yu asked as he gently placed his hand under Sans chin and made the smaller skeleton look at him.

“Nothing… just kind of surprised is all. Someone like you is not who I thought would be interested in a guy like me.” Sans said with a shrug. “I mean, I’m a _humerus_ kind of guy and _tibia_ honest you’re more of a sophisticated kind of guy.”

Yu didn’t say anything for a moment but when he ran his hand across Sans cheek a smile formed on his face. “Can’t I have wide _radius_ of interests? What’s wrong with me being interested in you?”

“Nothing I guess…” Sans said but his tone said otherwise.

“You are a strange case, Sans.” Yu said with a chuckle. “And coming from me, that’s saying something.”

Laughing lightly, Sans looked up at Yu and found that he was getting lost in those mismatched sockets. Feeling himself blush Sans leaned in closer to Yu. Yu himself leaned in as well, and before either knew what they were doing things started to get interesting.

It started with Yu removing Sans’ shirt, leaving the big bones skeleton bare from the ribcage up, and from the look on Sans’ face he was a bit embarrassed. Yu didn’t seemed to mind, and as he ran his fingers over each individual rib it earned him a shaky moan from Sans. Following his lead, Sans slowly slipped his hand under Yu’s shirt and while he pulled it off he grazed his fingertips over the ribs underneath it.

Yu let out a pleased sigh when the shirt came off and when Sans got a look at Yu without his clothing he saw something odd. Yu’s sternum and a few ribs had these weird looking scars on them, like someone had tried to mend them but they healed badly, and when he graced one with a touch it made Yu shutter with a moan.

“Had a bad accident years ago,” Yu said he looked down at the scars. “Don’t worry about them. They don’t hurt anymore.”

Sans wasn’t sure if Yu was telling the truth about that but he found himself not caring. Allowing his hand to explore, Sans ran his digits along Yu’s spine and gained a moan from said skeleton. Yu did the same thing and gained the same result. Skeletons were sensitive to each other’s touch and with a little bit of probing it didn’t take long before finding the others pressure points.

As the two scooted more onto the bed, Sans decided that it was too bright in the room and with a snap of his fingers the lights shut off. It startled Yu for a moment, and Sans inwardly cringed for being so careless, but when Yu smiled at him it made Sans wonder why.

“So you got magic in you too?” Yu asked and suddenly the room was gently filled with the soft red glow of magic coming from Yu’s hand. “I do to, sort of. My magic never manifested past the first stage when I was little, so I can only do simple things with it.”

A bit shocked at first, Sans soon relaxed and allowed his sockets to go dark before his left one erupted in a thick glowing blue flame. Yes, Sans had magic coursing through his bones but he also had… other powers that he liked to keep secret. So Sans reminded himself to be careful what he did around Yu.

“Yeah, I do.”

Yu seemed shocked to see this much magic pouring out of Sans, but it quickly turned to interest. Running his hand over Sans’ sternum, it still being coated in his magic, Yu watched as his magic quickly twisted and crawled over the smaller skeleton. It spiraled around his ribs and hugged his limbs in a way that Sans had never seen. Feeling his bones tingle, Sans let out a shaky breath before resting his head on Yu’s chest. Sans didn’t know what Yu was doing, but damn did it feel good.

“Here, let me show you.” Yu said as he used his free hand and grabbed Sans’. “Just let the magic flow and just think about encasing me with it.”

Nodding his head Sans did as Yu told him. Placing his hand on Yu, Sans watched as his hand was soon engulfed in blue flames and race all over Yu’s body. Unlike Sans magic, which appeared as blue fire, Yu’s was a bright red mist and as the two different magic mingled together Sans could feel something tugging at his soul. A bit shocked and disturbed by the feeling, Sans looked up at Yu to see him blushing again.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to rush this. I just get carried away sometimes.” Yu said as he looked away.

“Don’t be.” Sans said, twisting his own magic around Yu and did the exact same thing Yu had done with him; calling forth his soul.

Hearing a moan coming from Yu, Sans watched as the other skeleton gave a shiver before he revealed his soul between him and Sans. Just like his magic, Yu’s soul was red in color. Unlike human souls that had a solid appearance to them, Monster souls were more wispy and smoky looking but they heart shape was always there.

Feeling Yu tugging at his soul again, Sans this time allowed it to come out. It was a bright blue in color and the moment his soul was visible Yu’s soul crashed into it with an obvious eagerness. Taken back at his enthusiasm, Sans let out a moan mixed in with a laugh before he too pushed against Yu’s soul. Yu also let a moan escape him as well and after this point any walls that either skeleton had up disappeared.

Pulling Sans closer to him, Yu nuzzled his mandible against Sans. Skeletons didn’t have lips so kissing was something they never could do, but nuzzling and rubbing up against one another was just as good. Running his fingers along Sans’ hips Yu let his magic run up the other’s spine. Feeling the tingling sensation and gentle touches, Sans groaned loudly as he slipped his hands under Yu’s ribs and began to rub each vertebra. Using his magic to snake around Yu’s spine and ribs, Sans smiled as he was rewarded with Yu gasping out his name.

Looking above them, Sans watched as their souls mingled and how tendrils braided themselves together to form this deep purple shade. Yu must have seen this too as his soul gave another push and forced more of itself on Sans’. Sensing the playful nature in it, Sans did the same but not as strong as what Yu had done. The more the two souls mingled the more the room became bathed in a purple light.

In fact, the room was lit with three different lights. Everything behind Yu was immersed in radiant red, on Sans’ side of the room everything glowed a brilliant blue, and between the two and where the lights toughed was a vibrant violet.

Nuzzling his face into Yu’s sternum, Sans felt the scars rub against him but all he was focused on was the noises Yu was making as he did this. “God Sans, your soul is like nothing I have ever seen before.”

“I could say the same thing for yours.” Sans said as he trailed his fingers over Yu’s neck. “Who would think someone as nervous as you would be so _spirited_.”

“Is it that obvious?” Yu asked with a chuckle as he leaned into Sans’ touch.

“Nervousness should be written on your forehead.” Sans said jokingly as Yu picked up his hand and gently nibbled on his fingers. “Yu, _you_ need to chill.”

Both of them soon realized they were both chuckling at this point and with another nuzzle from Yu San’s body quivered with pleasure.

“Maybe I will.” Yu said as his soul once again jumped at Sans’.

“I didn’t realize you wanted to _jump my bones_ this bad.” Sans joked and gave Yu’s soul a good poke with his own.

“What can I say? You are just what I wanted… what I needed for a long time.” Yu said as he used his magic to form a pointed tongue and used to lick Sans’ sternum. Feeling the shorter skeleton shiver from the touch Yu chuckled to himself.

Forming his own tongue, Sans leaned into Yu and allowed the ghostly appendage to lick over his neck. Yu seemed pleased with this as he sighed happily and Sans sounded just as pleased as Yu’s tongue found its way to his collar bone. Slipping his tongue down Yu’s body, Sans watched as their souls above them started to vibrate. So close now the two souls were that they were almost at the same frequency…

“S-Sans…” Yu moaned loudly as continued to nuzzle Sans’ body.

“Yu…” Sans spoke as he pulled the other close and ran his hands over Yu’s spine and shoulder blades.

Both felt like they were in nirvana by this point and with how much they were shaking and moaning it was clear that they were enjoying it. Gripping Yu tighter as the other nibbled on him, Sans glanced up just in time to see their souls become one and formed a deep purple soul. In that second there was a soundless explosion and the air in the room vibrated.

Feeling their souls reach the peak of intimacy, both Sans and Yu let out a gasp before collapsing on the bed in each other’s hold. Once they fell onto the bed the room was no longer enveloped in the lights of the two souls and became dark once more. The only source of light the room saw was from Yu’s single white pupil and even then it was still dark.

“That was… that was like nothing I have ever felt before.” Yu said softly. “What was that Sans…? Sans?”

Looking down Yu found that Sans had passed out in his arms. The shorter skeleton was hugging Yu tightly and had the most peaceful smile on his face.

Smiling to himself at the sight of the other, Yu pulled Sans closer and closed his own sockets.

“Thank you Sans. Goodnight.”

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sans felt like he had just ran a marathon. His body was sore and had this tingling sensation in his bones. At first Sans thought it was a reset and didn’t want to wake yet, but then he remembered how a reset had already happened and how he had a whole month to wait. Still not wanting to wake up Sans also remembered what had transpired last night.

Sleepily reaching out for Yu, Sans found that he was smiling. What happened last night was by far the best thing to ever happen to the skeleton and despite his better judgement he wanted to hang onto Yu for as long as he could. Reset or not, Sans had fallen for the other skeleton; hard. Though as he continued to search the other half of the bed with his hand, Sans found that it was empty.

Slowly opening his eye sockets Sans was greeted with empty space. Sitting up, painfully Sans noticed, the skeleton saw no sign of Yu and it worried him. The room was still dark but light was leaking in from under the door and it was just enough for Sans to see that Yu wasn’t in the room. His bag was gone as well as his clothes and the room was eerily quiet.

Something inside Sans twisted painfully, worry or sorrow maybe, and when he finally spotted something on the nightstand it only worsened. It was a note and next to it sat a small red crystal rose. Picking up the flower Sans felt his cheeks blush. Yu must have made it with his magic as it was the same color as it, but how Yu made it Sans wasn’t sure. Turning his attention to the note Sans felt something drop inside him. Taking the note in his hand Sans read it and as he did he felt tears starting to form in his sockets.

‘ _Sans, thanks for last night. I really needed it. Sorry I have to leave you with nothing but this note but I have to get back to the capital. I truly did enough our time together. ~Yu’_

Crumpling the note in his hand Sans felt his soul twist painfully inside him. So… that was it then. His one moment of happiness gone and nothing was left but a stupid note and flower. Sans didn’t even get to say goodbye to Yu, he just left without another word. His hand suddenly became encased in his magic and with tears falling down his face Sans watched as the note burned away.

Looking at the palm sided rose in his other hand, Sans wanted nothing more than to chuck it at the wall and watch it break. He almost did that but he found himself stopping mid throw. Looking down at the crystal flower, Sans let out a quivering sigh. What did he expect honestly? Yu had a life in the capital and Sans was stuck in resets. There was no point really to fight for this.

Clutching the rose close to his chest Sans sobbed silently.

His life wasn’t meant to be happy. He was forever cursed to be sad and depressed and there was nothing he could do about it at this point.

Forming a rope out of his magic Sans wrapped it around the rose and slipped it over his skull; turning the litter trinket into a necklace. Though there was no point to it, Sans saw nothing wrong with hanging onto this item. It would always act as a constant reminder of his one true moment of happiness… even if it disappeared after the next reset.

Getting up and out of the bed Sans found his shirt and jacket and got dressed. The Inn keepers probably didn’t know Yu had a _guest_ over last night so if they came in here and found Sans it probably wouldn’t end well. Using one of his shortcuts Sans made his way home.

When he made it to his room though, Sans felt off. Leaning up against the treadmill Sans felt physically drained by the shortcut.

‘Whoa… that’s new.’ Sans thought to himself as he tried to calm his now shaking body. ‘Probably overworked myself last night.’

Somehow managing to make it to his bed Sans collapse onto it. Not even caring that his legs hanged off the bed Sans found himself closing his eye sockets. Though he had slept peacefully through the night, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Sans was close to doing just that but when the loud banging came from his door he remembered something. Papyrus.

“Sans are you awake! If not you should be! You promised to come with me to Undyne’s!”

Groaning irritably, Sans sluggishly pushed up off the bed. He didn’t remember promising Papyrus that but he wasn’t in the mood to argue with his brother. Making his way to the door Sans opened it and was greeted with the brightness of the house lights. Covering his sockets with his hands, Sans bit back a yelp of pain at the onslaught of the lights.

“Brother, are you alright?” Papyrus asked and Sans felt a hand on his shoulder. “You look pale.”

“Isn’t that a normal thing for skeletons?” Sans asked as he gradually allowed his vision to adjust to the brightness.

“Sans,” Papyrus said, trying to sound serious. “If you do not feel well you can stay here today and rest. I can go to Undyne’s alone.”

“Pap, I’m fine.” Sans said as he rolled his shoulders, earning him a loud pair of pops. “Just… woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“… are you sure?” Papyrus pressed on, the worried expression never leaving him.

“Would I _fibula_?”

“SANS!” Papyrus screamed as he raced down to the kitchen, wanting to get away from the horrible puns, but was unaware of the pain he had caused his brother at the volume of his shouting.

Clawing at his skull, Sans couldn’t hide the pain he felt when Papyrus screamed at him. It was weird, Sans noticed, how all of his senses were on high but he just checked it off from over exerting himself last night. Letting out a sigh, Sans gave his body a moment to relax. He was starting to regret not taking his brother’s offer to stay home.

He wasn’t sure he would be able to stand Papyrus and Undyne in one sitting.

Giving his head a gentle shake Sans made his way down the stairs. If he didn’t want to worry Papyrus, he would just have to fight through today and act like he didn’t feel like a bag of bones.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The days dragged on slowly Sans noticed. Without having to constantly worry about Frisk and without the looming fear of an early reset, Sans wasn’t sure how to spend his time.

For the most part Sans did things like he normally would, did his jobs with only half effort and slept most of the time, but even during these Sans felt… off. He wasn’t sure what it was but it was like he had this constant weight on his soul and it made him feel off balance. This feeling, whatever it was, also had some side effects Sans didn’t like.

Every time Sans took a shortcut he found himself almost falling over and his magic wasn’t as strong as it used to be. Simple things, like levitating, became difficult and it often resulted in something breaking and Papyrus complaining about Sans being lazy.

Now anyone with half a brain would have noticed that something was wrong and tried to figure out why, but seeing as Sans actually _didn’t_ have a brain, it shouldn’t come as a shock that he did nothing but push the issue aside. Being the lazybones that he was Sans decided to not worry about it and that whatever it was would go away on its own.

But as the weeks kept coming even Sans started to _slowly_ wonder what was wrong with him.

Sans didn’t look into it much, he didn’t want to worry his brother, but even knew something was up. The smart thing to do would have been to go see a doctor, but Sans didn’t. He had no problems with doctors, mostly, but he just didn’t feel comfortable going to go see someone who would poke and prod at him.

So Sans put off going to see the doctors and still thinking that this, whatever _this_ was, would all just go away. Maybe it had to do with the fact that the reset had gone back a month. Maybe his body wasn’t used to such a big time jump and was trying to adjust. It was the best idea that Sans had at this point.

But soon Sans would wish he had gone to see those doctors and let them poke at him.

It was only a few days till Frisk would be back, according to Sans’ calendar, and Sans found himself both being ecstatic and worried. It meant things would be going back to normal and maybe this weird feeling he had would go away. And yet, something in him didn’t want it to go away. This heaviness had been here for so long and at this point, besides the rose, it was the only reminder of… of Yu.

Sans hasn’t thought of Yu in a long time and even now as he sits at his station in the Snowdin forest he still feels the attraction he did when they first met. Just something about Yu got under Sans metaphorical skin and it had left an impression. An impression that Sans liked and never wanted to go away.

While he quietly sat at his post Sans could help but rub his sternum while thinking of Yu. Today he had this dull pain coming from inside him but it didn’t worry him. It would come and go and Sans saw nothing to be worried about. Maybe it was the last bit of this weird sickness fading away and he would finally be rid of this constant ache in his soul.

But as the day progressed the pain was slowly starting to increase in its visits and how intense it was. By noon Sans was starting to think maybe he should head home and rest. Sleep always relaxed him so maybe if he actually slept in his bed and not on this cold wood table maybe Sans would feel better.

Pulling out a piece of paper, Sans wrote Papyrus a note saying how he wasn’t feeling his best and he had headed home early. Papyrus would probably be irritated that Sans left his post, but in the end he would more than likely let it slide since Sans wasn’t feeling good. Leaving the note on the table, Sans stood up and began the walk back home.

The walk was quiet but far too long in Sans’ mind. The pain was back again and it was now making his soul thrum irregularly. He didn’t want to use a shortcut and risk him feeling any worse than he already was so he just pressed on. Desperate to be home and in his bed though, Sans picked up his speed a bit. By the time he reached his destination the pain had receded for the time being and Sans thanked whatever holy entities there were for allowing him to make it this far without collapsing in the snow.

Entering the house Sans was not surprised to find it empty. Papyrus usually stayed out all day and a bit into the night on the lookout for humans and messing with his puzzles. Sans was thankful for this, as it gave him some time to himself, and slowly made his way up to his room. Once inside his room, Sans slammed his door shut and quickly made it to his bed. The pain was starting to come back.

Sans wasn’t sure how long he had been lying there, he could vaguely remember hearing Papyrus coming home and asking from behind the door if he was alright, but at this point Sans really didn’t care. All he did care about was that he wanted this pain to go away. His whole body was drenched in sweat and Sans was more than certain that he was ripped a hole in his blanket with how much he was gripping at it. Sans was doing everything in his power not to scream out, but on a few occasions he did.

His voice was dry and raspy sounding whenever he lost control and screamed, and Sans was starting to lose it. There was this constant ringing in his skull and his bones felt like they were vibrating so bad that they would break. His eye sockets were tightly shut but that didn’t stop the river of tears running down his face.

‘Maybe I should have worried about this.’ Sans thought to himself as another scream escaped his mouth. ‘This is in no way okay.’

Sans was then pulled out of his musing when a loud knocking came from his door.

“Sans, what is wrong? You’ve been screaming for hours.” Papyrus’ voice sounded concerned from behind the door and it scared Sans.

Sans didn’t want Papyrus to come in here and see him like this. It would only worry his brother more and Sans didn’t want that. Mustering up what little magic he could Sans locked the door. When the sound of the click was heard Papyrus must have known what Sans did as the door handle began to move.

“Sans, let me in.” Papyrus said but when Sans didn’t respond with words but another scream he became concerned even more than he already was. “SANS OPEN THE DOOR NOW!”

“J-Just go away P-Pap,” Sans managed to choke out. “I-I’m fine.”

“That’s a lie Sans and you know it.” Papyrus responded. “If you don’t let me in I am going to break this door down and come in there!”

Still Sans didn’t budge from his spot on the bed but he wished his magic wasn’t acting up so he could reinforce the door. He knew that Papyrus would break his door just to see what was wrong with him and Sans knew he was only lasting on borrowed time before the taller skeleton did so.

“P-P-Please Papyrus… Just g-go.”

“I am afraid I can’t do that brother.” Papyrus said as the door was met with the great force that was his boot and the lock broke. Watching as the door swung open, Papyrus came storming into the room and once his sockets landed on his brother Papyrus nearly gasped at what he saw.

Sans looked horrible. His whole body and the bed were soaked in his sweat and his hands were digging into the blanket with such strength that a few holes had been created. His sockets were still closed but the tears were coming out of him in bucket loads. And Sans’ always present smile was gone and replaced with a painful grimace.

Rushing over to his side, Papyrus rested a hand on Sans’ skull while the other one gripped his shoulder. “Sans what’s wrong with you?!”

“I… I don’t know!” Sans screamed as one of his hands shot up and gripped his brother’s wrist. “Papyrus I don’t know!”

Papyrus knew this was serious. Sans never shouted and always knew what to do, but here he was laying there like he was… like he was dying.

“Sans, can you sit up?” Papyrus asked, finding it in himself to stay calm if only for his brother’s sake. “Maybe I can figure out what’s wrong with you.”

Sans didn’t respond but as he kicked off the blanket it showed Papyrus that he had heard him. Sans was only dressed in his tank top and shorts, having discarded his jacket long ago when he started getting too hot, and when he finally managed to lean up against the wall the bed was against Papyrus could see how drenched in sweat Sans was.

As Papyrus looked over Sans, the shorter skeleton felt like his body was splitting in half. It was like something was trying to painfully rip itself from his body and for some odd reason Sans fought against it. Sans wasn’t sure why he fought against the pain but he just did. After a while, Sans managed to open his left eye and peak up at Papyrus.

“W-What’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t know but… What is that?” Papyrus said as he looked down at Sans chest. “Sans, remove your shirt.”

Sans wasn’t sure he could and Papyrus saw this and helped his brother in doing the daunting tasking. Once the shirt was gone Sans felt a surge in his magic and it caused his socket to burn with it; illuminating the corner of the room in blue. Not sure why that happened Sans stared at his brother but found that his gaze was not on him.

“S-Sans… what is that?” Papyrus choked out and it scared Sans.

Looking down at his chest, Sans nearly screamed out in fear at what he saw. The rose Yu had given him sat against his sternum and behind Sans ribcage was his soul, it was glowing its normal blue color but it was flickering in tune with the pains Sans was feeling. And through the flickering Sans could make out the reason why he was in so much pain.

Nestled in the center of his soul sat an almost unnoticeable purple cloud and it was trying to free itself from Sans.

A new soul.

A child.

“N-No…” Sans managed to speak before his soul gave a painful jerk, or more the new soul did.

“What is it Sans? What is that in your soul?” Papyrus asked but Sans only shook his head.

“C-Can’t… Can’t let it come…” Sans tried to speak but the pain was unbearable at this point.

“Sans if this anomaly is causing you pain we need to get it out of your soul.” Papyrus said but Sans shook his head.

“NO!” Sans said, or more screamed, as he threatened to crush Papyrus’ wrist in the death grip he had on it. “I CAN’T!”

“SANS BE REASONABLE!” Papyrus shouted back and it seemed to shock Sans enough to allow the new soul a chance to become closer to escaping

Sensing this, Sans gripped at his ribcage and almost burned himself with his magic. He had no control of it at this point but he didn’t care. This was not happening, not to him, and Sans refused to let it sink in what was really going on. He needed to stop this from happening, but it appeared as fate had other plans because with one final jerk the new soul managed to split from Sans.

Gasping out loud from a sudden rush of vertigo, Sans went limp against the wall and just as quick the pain had come it ended. His magic just as quickly disappeared and Sans was left with a burning sensation in his socket. His body, though no longer in pain, had this throbbing feeling to it and every moved Sans made hurt.

Finding enough strength to open his eye sockets, Sans’ vision was at first blurry but as it adjusted he soon saw what floated before him.

A tiny new soul hovered between him and Papyrus. It was really small, tiny even, and was a sparkling purple color. It flickered with a beating, like a heartbeat, and as a white light began to envelope it something clicked in Papyrus. Reaching to the floor, Papyrus grabbed Sans discarded jacket and placed it under the new soul. Sensing the object below it, the new soul gently landed in and with a final flash of white light something solid formed in it.

Now wrapped in the jacket was no longer a soul, but a child; a skeleton child. It was the smallest being Papyrus and Sans had ever seen and it only took Papyrus a second to realize what had just transpired.

Sans was a father.

And he, The Great Papyrus, was now an uncle.

Pulling the child closer, Papyrus wasn’t sure what to do next. He had never been around many skeletal children so seeing this one left him in a state of shock. Even though Papyrus was clueless as to what to do with the child two things were clear. One was that he already loved them and that Sans should hold them.

Turning his attention to his brother, Papyrus saw that Sans gaze was to his lap and to his hands. He was breathing hard and sweat still clung to his bones. With his free hand Papyrus gave Sans a shake, thinking he had fallen asleep, the lazybones, and smiled.

“Sans… Sans here, take them.”

But Sans didn’t look up. His attention stayed to his lap and if he had lips he would be biting them. Sans mind was going a hundred miles an hour, buzzing and fuming with thoughts that were dark and depressing.

He had just had a child; Yu’s child. A child that had been living off him for the last month without him knowing. A small, helpless, child that he… that he would lose to reset. A child that would probably never know its other parent. A kid that would never get to grow up. A baby that he would never get to love. A baby that would never see the surface.

Papyrus would find out about how it came to be, what he did with Yu, and would hate him. He would lose Papyrus. Papyrus would be so ashamed of him. Papyrus would think of him as Snowdin’s go to guy for a _good_ time. Papyrus would stop talking to him. Papyrus wouldn’t acknowledge him as his brother.

He would lose everything he cared about the most…

No.

No.

NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Suddenly pushing Papyrus away, Sans let out a painful and terrifying whine. “Get it away from me!”

Shocked by the outburst, Papyrus frowned. “Sans, calm down. It’s alright, look, just hold it and you’ll-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HOLD IT PAPYRUS!” Sans screamed, straining his already raspy voice. “GET IT AWAY FROM ME! I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING LOOK AT IT!”

By now the child was crying and Papyrus had taken a step back. He had never seen his brother act this way before and to be honest it scared him. Trying to calm down the child, Papyrus looked back at Sans to find him laying back down on the bed with his back to him.

“Sans…”

“… Just go Papyrus… please… leave me alone!” Sans barked and Papyrus could tell that he would not win his brother over to hold the child; let alone look at it. Turning to the broken door, Papyrus took the bawling child away and shut the door as best he could.

Now alone, Sans allowed his mind to take him to those dark places no one should go to. In those dark rooms images so horrible plagued him and no matter what he did Sans couldn’t crawl away. For hours Sans was victim to his own worries and fears, and during that time it gave them the advantage over the physically and mentally weak skeleton to fill him to the brim with their seeds of doubt and allowed their darkness to take root. The branches of pain and panic blocked out any hope of light entering Sans soul, and as the vines of despair wrapped their thrones around it they wouldn’t let go.

Time seemed to stand still for Sans, and as he lay there on his bed he only saw one option to even remotely save him from his inner turmoil. Finally finding the strength to move, Sans made his way out of his room and downstairs. Everything was dark, the lights were off and it would still be a couple of hours till the artificial sun would turn on, but as Sans vision adjusted he was soon able to see what lay before him.

Papyrus was resting on the couch, one leg hanging over the edge, and not far from him laid a makeshift bassinet. Slowly moving to the basinet, which was actually only a drawer filled with blankets, the short skeleton peered down at its contents.

Resting peacefully and undisturbed in the crib lay the skeletal child. Wrapped snuggly in the blankets, Sans could make out one of Papyrus’ shirts on the child and tied around its skull was a glittery pink ribbon.

The child was no longer an ‘it’ to Sans now, and in some ways that made this even more painful.

‘She…’ Sans thought as new tears began to form. ‘… She needs to go.’

With trembling hands Sans lifted the child from his bed. It gave no indication of wake as he did this, and with a heavy heart Sans watched as she snuggled into him with a smile; a smile much like his own. Trying his best not to make a sound and wake Papyrus, Sans stepped out of the house and into still dark town of Snowdin. It was a bitter cold morning and beside himself with sadness Sans wrapped the child tighter in the blankets to keep her warm.

He didn’t want to do this, God how he didn’t, but in his state of mind Sans knew it was better this way. Taking a shortcut Sans quickly found his way to the capital of the underground. The city was dark and quiet even this early in the morning, and as Sans walked silently on the sideway he kept his hood up. He knew no one around these parts would be up, but he didn’t want to take the chance of being seen or recognized.

As he journeyed on, Sans not once looked down at the special cargo he carried; knowing that if he did, it would only hurt more in the end. He had to do this and do it right, or be left with a pain he knew he would never overcome. Sans soon reached his destination and as he looked up at it the building only brought him more discomfort. Sans didn’t need to read the sign held high above the doorway for he knew it by heart.

_Capital Orphanage for Young Monsters_

Sans had no fond memories of this place and no matter how hard he tried, no matter how far he went, he somehow always found his way back here. Sans could remember his and Papyrus’ first night here, the night after his father died, and how it had been a terror.

Papyrus was only two, Sans seven, and it had been a horror for Sans to get his brother to calm down. The other children had nearly beaten Sans skull in for not ‘ _shutting up his dumb brother_ ’ and the staff did little to nothing about it. Papyrus wasn’t used to going to sleep without their dad around, and while Sans was always a comfort he was no replacement for their dad. Sans always tried his best though and after so many nights without their father Papyrus soon took to resting with his brother without any hassle.    

Years the two spent there, years of horrible memories and after so many of them Sans had taken it upon himself to get Papyrus and himself out of there. Sans had been 13 when they finally escaped the hellhole and he took it upon himself to raise Papyrus the best he could. It wasn’t easy, many times Sans had to steal just to keep food on the table, but the two managed.

And now, standing before the building that offered some of the worst years of his life, Sans was about to give the same hell to someone else.

Walking up the couple steps to the door, Sans in a gentle but swift motion deposited the child on the doorstep. Quickly turning around, Sans was about to leave but when a soft whimper caught his attention he stopped. Glancing over his shoulder, Sans watched as the bundle of blankets began to move and out of the corner of his vision he saw a small hand reach out for him. Sans knew he shouldn’t turn around, it would only prolong the painful inevitable, but dammit all he just couldn’t do this without looking at her one last time.

Turning back around and kneeling, Sans looked down at the small child. She was fully awake now, attention only on Sans, and her gaze made his soul and spine shiver. Her sockets were just like Yu’s; mismatched but undeniably beautiful. She smiled up at him and Sans would swear left and right he was looking himself in the mirror when he saw that smile. Her tiny fists reached out to him and Sans wanted nothing more than to pick her up and just go home…

But Sans knew that he couldn’t. If he brought her home he would get attached and it would only make the next reset hurt more. He would get committed to her and fall in love and when reset happened it would make home not feel like home. Shaking his head, Sans watched as his tears fell down next to the child and made small pools. It was now or never.

“I-I’m sorry… I am so sorry… Lucida.” Sans said as he choked on his tears as he reached behind his shirt and pulled out the crystal rose from Yu. Pulling the necklace over his skull, Sans placed it around the child, his child, his little Lucida, and quickly stood up. “I just… can’t take losing you.”

And with that Sans was gone in the blink of an eye.

Leaving the little girl to cry out for him all alone on the doorstep of the orphanage.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Sans arrived home, Snowdin was just barely starting to wake up and Sans was thankful for this. Tears were still streaming down his face and he didn’t want any of his neighbors to see him and start asking questions. Making his way inside, Sans didn’t even bother with closing the door gently and just allowed it to slam behind him. Sans also didn’t care that it startled Papyrus enough to make him jump up on the couch and stare at him with a worried expression.

“Sans, please be quiet. You’ll wake her.” Papyrus said and just even at the mention of the child made Sans shake with sobs.

“It doesn’t matter Pap,” Sans said as he slowly made his way to the stairs. “Not anymore.”

Papyrus looked like he was going to say something but when his attention found its way to the empty crib his worry skyrocketed.

“SANS WHERE IS THE BABY?!”

Sans didn’t responded as he reached the top of the stairs, but he did stop for a second. He hated having Papyrus angry with him, especially like this, but anger was better than shame and having Papyrus shun him. Sans knew Papyrus well enough that he wouldn’t stay angry long but it didn’t stop Sans from hating how it was his entire fault for this mess.

“SANS ANSWER ME!” Papyrus shouted again from the bottom of the stairs. “WHERE IS SHE?!”

“She’s gone Papyrus,” Sans finally spoke as he walked to his room while not looking at his brother. “Best to just forget about her.”

Papyrus felt something in him break. He didn’t know who was standing before him, but it was not his Sans. His brother may be a lazybones and unstoppable pun-master, but Sans wasn’t… _this_.

“… I… Sans I…” Papyrus tried to speak, but he found the tears coming from him making it difficult. So instead of saying more, Papyrus stormed up the stairs, shoving Sans aside, and went into his room. Slamming his door, Papyrus couldn’t stand to look at or talk to his brother a second longer.

Not even registering that Papyrus had shoved his way past him, Sans just stood there. His tears were staining his face as they dripped down his cheekbones and all he could do was stand there.

Sans hated everything about this reset.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me of any errors or goofs I made,  
> I tried to catch them all but I know I probably missed some in my proof reading.
> 
> Dedicated songs for the chptr:
> 
> Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy  
> Sleeping at the Wheel - Matchbox 20  
> Sweeter & Sweeter - Alex Parks  
> Here Without You - 3 Doors Down  
> It's Raining Somewhere Else - Toby Fox


End file.
